Ariana Madix breaks silence on Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss affair: ‘What doesn’t kill me goes better’

Ariana Madix attends the Friends and Family Opening at Schwartz & Sandy’s with the cast of

Amanda Edwards/Getty; Emma McIntyre/WireImage; Charles Sykes/Bravo/Getty Ariana Madix, Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss

Ariana Madix speaks for the first time since her ex Tom Sandoval and your Vanderpump Rules costar Rachel Leviss both apologized for a month-long affair The ended the nine-year relationship between Sandoval and Madix.

Madix, 37, shared her open thoughts via Instagram late Wednesday night, writing: “Hello. Where should I start? I want to express my sincerest gratitude for the love and support I have received from friends, family and people I have not met in the last two weeks.”

She continued: “When I felt like I couldn’t even stand, you all gave me the strength to keep going and guided me through my darkest hours. To say I was devastated and heartbroken is an understatement.”

“However,” she added, “I know I can’t deal with this on my own. So many of my closest friends are grieving this loss right now and reeling from this betrayal on so many levels. I’m so freaking lucky to have the best support system in the world and I hope to be able to repay every single person for the love you’ve shown me.”

She concluded: “What doesn’t kill me goes better. Love, Ariana.”

RELATED: Vanderpump Rules Women slam Raquel as ‘liability’ who is ‘only interested in men her friends are married to’

Madix discovered Sandoval, 40, had cheated on her with Leviss, 28, on March 1 when she saw it “inappropriate” messages between the two on his phone while performing in Los Angeles with his band Tom Sandoval & the Most Extras.

“She was completely taken aback by it; devastated doesn’t even scratch the surface of her feelings,” a source told PEOPLE days after the discovery. “This is someone she thought she knew; someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Words cannot even describe this betrayal.”

RELATED: Kristen Doute says Ariana Madix ‘doesn’t have a leech dragging her down’ after split from Tom Sandoval.

Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix

Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix

Amanda Edwards/Getty Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix

Sandoval addressed the allegations on March 7 and released an Apology mail to Madix on his Instagram page. (It was the second apology from the Schwartz & Sandy co-owner in four days — the first mea culpa didn’t mention Madix.)

“First and foremost, I want to apologize to everyone I’ve hurt through this process,” he began later Tuesday. “First of all, I want to apologize to Ariana. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve been selfish and I’ve made reckless decisions that hurt someone I love. No one deserves to feel that pain so traumatically and publicly.”

He continued, “I can only imagine how devastating this has been for Ariana and everyone around us. I feel really terrible about it. My greatest regret is dishonoring Ariana. I never wanted to disappoint so many people, including our loving families and friends.”

RELATED: Tom Sandoval says he ‘deserves your anger and disappointment’ after cheating scandal: ‘Sorry’

Sandoval continued to reflect on his long relationship with Madix. “My love for Ariana was stronger than any camera could ever have captured,” he said. “Some of our best times together were never filmed. Ditto for some of our biggest fights. I wish things happened in a different order and our relationship wasn’t seriously marred and it ended with the same respect for her as it started with. I owed Ariana better.”

“I am beyond sad that it ended the way it did,” his statement concluded. “The choices I made have hurt so many people. I’ve acted in ways that clash with who and how I want to be. I will keep thinking and working on myself. I have work to do. I always have and always will.”

RELATED: Tom Schwartz comments on the Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss cheating scandal

Tom Sandoval, Raquel Leviss

Tom Sandoval, Raquel Leviss

Araya Doheny/Getty Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss

The next day, Leviss made her own statement.

I want to apologize for my actions and my choices mostly for Ariana and my friends and the fans who have been so invested in our relationships,” she began.

“There is no excuse, I am not a victim and I must admit my actions and I deeply regret hurting Ariana,” she added in the statement, which was shared first entertainment tonight. “I’m reflecting on my choices, talking to a counselor, and learning things about myself, like my patterns of codependency and addiction to being loved and feeling loved. I have sought emotional validation through intimate connections that are not healthy without regard to my own well-being, sometimes negatively impacting others and often I prioritize the intimate connection over my friendships.”

RELATED: Raquel Leviss reveals relationship status with Tom Sandoval: ‘I care for Tom’ but ‘I need time to heal’

Leviss later shared an additional statement exclusively with PEOPLE on March 8.

“Next to the intolerable circumstances of our relationshipmy feelings for Tom have always been genuine and born out of a loving friendship,” she told PEOPLE exclusively. “Knowing how many people we hurt, I need to understand my choices and learn to make better ones.”

“I need to take care of my health, work on my self-growth, and make time to deal with being alone,” she continues. “I care for Tom and I don’t want to label anything or predict what’s ahead. Right now I have to heal.”

Raquel Leviss

Raquel Leviss “Vanderpump Rules”

Chelsea Lauren/Shutterstock

RELATED: Ariana Madix ‘wasn’t alone’ since split from Tom Sandoval: ‘She had a lot of support’

A Sandoval representative confirmed to PEOPLE on March 6 that it was him and Madix “still live together” despite being separated at their home in Valley Village. “They own the home together and what happens next to the property will take time to work out,” the spokesman said. “It won’t be decided in a weekend.”

Meanwhile, a source told PEOPLE so “all [was] Rally” to Madix in the wake of the revelations about Sandoval and Leviss.

“Ariana hasn’t been alone at all since this happened,” the insider said. “She has a lot of support around her. All the girls in her friend group take turns visiting her at her house 24 hours a day.”

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Vanderpump Rules airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.

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